We discussed this as an aspect of initiation that can be used as fuel of sorts. We talked about the separation engendered by the work from profane society, and I was once again impressed by the importance of having a school to help with processing the work. We finished with another toast to the idiots, and an excellent dish of stuffed peppers from a recipe of one of Mr. Gurdjieff’s nieces [Luba Gurdjieff] prepared by Ms. C. My main thoughts during the meal concerned a sense of how useful the meetings had been to me. Knowing I would soon be moving to a new situation, I was glad to have been able to share in the experience of the group work.
The work with the element has impressed upon me several ideas that have been stated before, yet which I have had to experience to understand. One observation that is most striking is that the work of the Fourth Way is not a mental/intellectual process. It involves a subtle transmission of learning and teaching which cannot be received by reading or study, but rather by the involvement of all of the centers at once. This requires actual contact with others, thus the need for a school. In seeking the question that is at the root of my being, I will continue with the struggle that has been triggered by these exercises and the interaction within the element. As this element is concerned with the application of the law of threes in the synthesis between the fourth way and the TOS, I have found it to be very useful to my initiation. My earlier concept of the idea of becoming was very similar to the idea of change. I now see that the process of becoming is equally concerned with the idea of Xeper as self-realization. I have only started to explore the depths of this path, and have already learned that it is not easy and actually quite painful. I have realized, however, that at the core of my being I would rather know myself truly than inhabit a false world of delusion pandering to impermanent I’s.
Xeper,
Mythalethe
3/3/00
